how to contact me.

email:
you can email me. this is like letters but you can't touch them unless your device has a touchscreen. i will not reply.

phone:
i do not have a phone. i send all my tweets to twitter and they post them for me. do not attempt to phone me.

post:
if you wish to send me a letter, simply leave it beneath a rock in the woods and i will find it. this is more of a threat than a promise.

stars:
speak your troubles unto the night, and the moon and stars shall pass on your messages to me. charges may apply.

sand:
spell out your message in the sand, and when the sea washes over it, the words will travel upon the waves to wherever i am.

shout:
really loud